Chapter 34

Grad Students

A week earlier…

thlh’: I have come to be in the company of many humans who are fine teachers, and have learned there are more than humans, on this planet. There are many, many other kinds of sapients. Our initial studies did not find them because they purposely remain hidden. I wish to study them more, and apparently many of them wish to study me. I am considered one of them, and there are humans with a name for us—they call us Starfolk, for we are the first from the stars, to them. They have many stories about us.

Az’th’t: Stories? This is not translating. Information that is not true, but not a lie?

Cthlh’: It is what makes humans, human. It is their defining cultural quality, according to my human. They create ideas from nothing. They create people, and places, and events, solely from their own mind. But it is not memories, nor seeing far events; it is created new from their own thoughts. I can show you, my human is one of those that has the role of doing this for his fellows.

Az’th’t: Why? Why do they do this?

Cthlh’: Because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be humans.

Yog-Sth’t: I am ready for the archive you have compiled.

Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth: THIS IS ALL FROM ONE HUMAN?!

Hst’rr: Cth does he have any clutchmates? Clones perhaps? Do humans bud?

Nyrl’ot: You managed to actually kzkh with a human! And I thought you were only interested in playing with your notes.

Cthlh’: There are very few humans like mine. I am pleased to note my finding him has caused his life to become more tolerable and pleasant for him.

Yog-Sth’t: Cth always was very skilful at playing.

Nyrl’ot: Yog?!

Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth: As shocked as I’m sure we all are that Yog has the ability to be playful, I would like to return to this planet and ask your human questions about this ‘inflation fetish’ concept.

Cthlh’: I thought you might.

Az’th’t: Sh’b, you must look over Cthlh’s research before you go to the planet again, you know that. As must I, before allowing any of you to go. Thank you, Cthlh’. Go in peace.

For humans, eating was a lively social occasion (though what wasn’t a lively social occasion, with humans?), and had confusing levels of ‘formality’—George was teaching Cthulhu what would be required at this formal table, which had many more utensils and a series of ‘courses’. There was, of course, some adaptation needed for the fact that Cthulhu had ‘tendrils’ around his mouth, which were used normally to pass food up to his mouth; George was very graceful in finding a solution to this, but the matter of how to consume liquids puzzled him—until René had asked Aix for a solution.

ChirurgienBleu: Mon sorcier, we are at an impasse with adapting formal dining to Joe.

Metasepia: In what sense? I thought it was going well?

ChirurgienBleu: Consommé and drinking anything.

Metasepia: Show him other animals that drink through a straw, like elephants, or nectarivores.

Metasepia: nectarivores? Is that a word? Hang on.

Metasepia: holy shit it *is*!

Metasepia: Have Cammie take him to the zoo? I feel like it would be better if he had the real creature in front of him. I’m sad I can’t be the one to see his first reaction but.

Cthulhu had borrowed Aix’s veils, to be less noticeable than the plague doctor mask made him. Earth had so many different kinds of animals, such vibrance! With Cameron reading out the informational plaques, Cthulhu learned many things, rapt with wonder at everything from the most ‘ordinary’ sheep to the human-like monkeys; but most interesting of all were the enormous elephants.

They were sapient.

Hello?

All four of the elephants had taken note him immediately, making their way over to the part of their enclosure closest to where Cthulhu was standing, raising their facial tendril toward him, revealing it was where they kept their nostrils. The eldest bearer had replied.

Tusk-Thrower speak?

I am not one of those. I am… Cthulhu paused, gathering context from the elephants before explaining on their terms, I am from the sea where the sun and moon live, the one above. Far away, much farther than any voice can reach. Because these people measured far distance not in days walking, but in how far their subsonic calls could reach.

Dreamplace. The matriarch grasped immediately. Dreamplace Elephant.

Perhaps not elephant, but Clown. Cthulhu replied, wondering if she had encountered clowns before. Cthulhu tried to also convey he himself wasn’t one, but was an ancestor.

He felt when she understood. Dreamplace Grandmother Clown. She conveyed that she had a concept of a Grandmother Elephant, one from the Coldtime, who was covered in shaggy fur. There had been Cousins then, many different kinds of Elephant.

Cthulhu realised there were many people dressed the same, around him, many agitated humans—but when he pulled back from his conversation to see them, afraid of more police, he found they were all agitated in a more peaceable way, were the humans that took care of the animals.

‘Hey, Joe, these are the zookeepers,’ Cameron said gently, knowing that uniforms of any kind were alarming, especially after what had happened with the cops.

‘Hi, I’m Max,’ said one with short hair and a large ring of keys on their hip. ‘The uh, the elephants seem to be very interested in you.’

Is that bad? Do they know the elephants are capable of conversation?

Cameron raised his brows. Cthulhu registered that no, humans did not know elephants were sapient, they could only strongly suspect. The zookeepers were distressed because the elephants did not normally act so focussed on one visitor.

How do I tell them? I must tell them.

‘I… I don’t know how to explain this,’ Cameron said. ‘Um, do you—do you know…’ he cast around desperately for the name of one of the were-elders that might be involved in zoology of some kind, and came up blank. But Max was clearly a butch and had a rainbow flag pin on her lapel. ‘Do you know René Charbonneau?’

Max raised a grey brow. ‘I know of him.’

‘Um I… God, I’m sorry, this is so difficult to explain.’

Cameron scented someone else coming from upwind, the scent of a werefox, and saw someone he barely recognised, but must be new in town—Cameron didn’t remember foxes being in Baltimore, before.

‘Hey, Max.’

‘Hey, Doctor Kildaire. Sarah tell you what was up?’

‘What is up? Other than the obvious—hey,’ he said, waving at the elephants. Despite his energetic alertness, he didn’t seem concerned.

‘Hi, I’m Cameron Gold,’ Cameron said, feeling awkward; but the name did the trick, as did his locking eyes with Kildaire and flashing his own for a split second. It was long used as a way to recognise other weres without humans really noticing.

‘Oh, I bought a house from your mother,’ Kildaire said with a brighter smile.

‘I work for Mr Charbonneau. I was wondering if we could um, if we could explain privately what is going on between Joe and the elephants?’ Cameron said, gesticulating and feeling like he was two steps away from breaking the Mummery and getting in huge trouble, which only made him more nervous.

‘Ah—yes, yes, I heard about that particular visitor. Come—it’s all right,’ Kildaire said, waving aside the other keepers. ‘Come on, Max, Joe’s a bit of a colleague of mine, ethologist.’

I am going somewhere else, nearby. Cthulhu assured the elephants, who did not wish him to leave.

As he followed the humans, Cthulhu wondered about Dr Kildaire. Is Dr Kildaire another werecat?

Werefox. He must have just moved here.

Aix said he met a fox family on the train.

‘So,’ Kildaire said, as soon as they were through a door marked ‘employees only’, ‘Max is Informed, you can speak freely. What is this about?’

‘Joe was talking to them,’ Cameron said. ‘He feels it’s important you understand they’re sapient.’

‘The eldest one and I were just explaining ourselves to one another. Our… context, I believe Aix would call it.’

‘Aix?’

‘As in Aix sponsa?’ Max asked.

‘As in,’ Cameron said. ‘The new witch of Baltimore. Replaced Ana Heeren. He’s nicer.’

‘Ah,’ Max said, but Cameron could tell she was a little too distant for that to fully register as revolutionary.

‘Oh! Oh yes, I met him briefly the other day,’ Kildaire said. ‘Talking to the elephants, really?’ he said. ‘That is—of course, it would be impossible to prove or document, but goodness, that’s really earth-shattering.’

‘Can you teach us?’ Max asked. ‘It would certainly help us care for them better.’

‘I cannot teach you if both parties do not have psionic ability. However, it may be possible to find some mutual form of communication.’

‘Maybe those buttons?’ Cameron suggested. ‘But like, bigger?’

‘Would it be possible to return to speak with them in some private place? They did not wish me to leave. I feel they have much to say to you, and I would enjoy translating.’

‘Absolutely,’ Max and Kildaire said, mostly at the same time, and led them through the featureless brick hallway and into an open-air back area, shielded from public view by screens and walls and berns of foliage. They passed other keepers, and ended up gathering a few of them up, the elephant team. Max introduced them. There was a tall one with brown skin, and her name was Chausiku. She was from the same landmass as the elephants, a nation known as Kenya, and was deeply interested when they explained, playing with her very long hair, which was twisted into many thin ropes, all but two of which were gathered at the nape of her neck with a band of elastic.

‘Of course they can speak,’ she said. ‘of course they can. Camille, come over here, we are talking to the elephants now.’

‘We’re doing what?’ Camille was a smaller human. ‘Hi, Max, Doctor Kildaire.’

‘We are talking to the elephants,’ Cthulhu said.

‘Neat. How?’

‘Listen, basically everyone in the zookeeping community knows there’s weird stuff we can’t document,’ Max said, at the characteristic pause. ‘We talk to the marine biologists, for fuck’s sake.’

‘I am New England Weird,’ Cthulhu said, finding it amusing that one specific region was known as the nexus of encounters with his people, even though it wasn’t the place with the highest actual concentration of them.

By now, they were at another gate, into a building of cinderblock, and Max let them in, the elephants quickly finding them again, coming into the shelter that had a floor of hay and separated them from the humans with a strong fence.

Hello again. Your human friends want to talk with you.

What happened to Grandmother? They took her away and we did not see her again. Is she dead?

‘They speak of a grandmother you took away. Did she die?’

‘Dolly? Yes,’ Max said, sadly. ‘She was an old girl, we had to put her to sleep in 2014. The health regulations mean we can’t let the other animals interact with dead ones, so they don’t get sick.’

Cthulhu conveyed this, and the elephants conferred with one another for some time, before sharing wordless emotions Cthulhu understood, for grief and closure were familiar even to his people. They are relieved to know you eased her pain, and to know for certain she has died. She had told them she was going away soon, but it is another thing to know for certain.

To Cthulhu’s surprise, the humans were all in tears at this, even Cameron. Cameron touched his shoulder. It’s okay. It’s sort of happy-sad crying. It’s overwhelming to want to talk to the animals you love so much and not be able to, and then to have someone suddenly allow you to speak to them, and hear them. It’s a great kindness you’re doing.

Cthulhu spoke for a long while with the elephant keepers; they had many questions for the elephants, and the elephants had many questions for them, and requests. By the end they had asked if Cthulhu would come back regularly to help in future, and many of the keepers expressed over and over how helpful it would be if he acted as translator to other sapient animals, of which humans suspected there were quite a few. With their limitations regarding communication, however, it was almost impossible to communicate clearly with other Earth species to confirm this.

‘I will keep that in mind,’ was all Cthulhu could say. But he began to view Earth’s animals very differently, and to reach out to them as he might any person.

There were very, very many that could communicate simple ideas. Dogs and cats, Cthulhu had already known about; the ‘great apes’, being what humans were as well, were very human-like in their thoughts, though with vastly different cultures and values; but there were other creatures Cthulhu had not met until the zoo, that surprised the humans as they took him around the back of each enclosure to see.

Hello.

The bear had a very confident mind, one sure there was little to fear from either starvation or predators; he regarded Cthulhu with curiosity, huffing and scenting the air, and coming up to the fence.

Fish?

Cthulhu drew back several steps. ‘I need to leave. Now.’

The bear suddenly stood up. Fish for me!

‘Whoa! Okay,’ Max hustled everyone out into the hallway with a calm and businesslike manner, careful to lock and check each door and gate along the way. ‘What was that about, buddy?’

‘He regarded me as something to eat, and was very excited to do so.’

‘Oh dear,’ Kildaire said, understanding why that might be so.

‘Why?’ Chausiku asked.

Cthulhu paused, thinking it over. ‘If I show you, you cannot tell anyone.’

Everyone agreed to this, and Cthulhu carefully lifted the veil over his face.

‘Oh you’re a cephalopod,’ Chausiku said, nodding. ‘I see.’

‘There are similarities,’ Cthulhu said, having discussed this at length with Aix. ‘But there is only one earth animal I am truly similar to, and I have been told they have no Latin biname.’

‘Oh are we—are we doing this now?’ Cameron asked, pushing off the wall he was leaning on (he had been waiting in the hallway to most of the animals they visited, since he smelled of large cat and that tended to cause fear or aggression).

‘Doing what now?’ Kildaire asked politely.

‘Uh—just, well,’ Cameron said, ‘it’s… I guess it’s your call, Joe.’

‘Cameron refers to my human’s concern about what this information would do to harm the animals I speak of, but his concerns are for it becoming public knowledge too soon. But you are scientists,’ he said to the assembled, which included Kildaire, Chausiku, and a few of the grad students studying under Chausiku—Michelle, a blonde; and Jason and Mya, who were black like Chausiku, but from America, same as St Croix and Hext, rather than Africa. ‘Clowns are of my people—my colleague’s offspring and their descendants.’

‘Holy shit,’ Michelle said, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. Mya burst out laughing, though Cthulhu felt it was not exactly amusement, but another response to shock. Chausiku did not seem to understand the gravity of this.

‘We don’t have clowns where I grew up,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know they were an animal. I thought they were a profession.’

‘They are both. There are humans who perform with them, but those that are not human are… cousins, I think is the term you have all used to convey distant relation. My human has a very small wild one as a companion.’

‘Coulrologists and the rest of biology stay far away from one another because of how fuck-off weird clowns are,’ Jason explained. ‘And yeah, they don’t have an official scientific description.’

‘You’re not allowed to mention them in discussions of taxonomy or anything,’ Mya said.

‘I saw a knock-down drag-out fight between three PhDs about it once,’ Michelle added.

‘But they exist? Surely that means they can be studied?’ Chausiku was increasingly in disbelief at this foolishness.

‘They don’t… like being studied,’ Michelle said.

‘Everyone who studies them goes a little bit insane—oh my god,’ Cameron said, breaking off his thought mid-sentence. ‘Oh my god, because they’re Lovecraftian. Sorry, is that not a good term?’

‘In the interest of clarity, it is acceptable. Aix has said the man himself was quite hateful, but that he would dislike his name being remembered in association with us, so using it thus is… ah, I don’t understand the emotion, it is too complex, but… irony?’

‘Can we ask you questions about yourself?’ Jason asked, after raising his hand.

‘If I may ask them back. I am also a student of your level.’

‘Whoa for real?’ Mya said, brightening. ‘You’re a grad student?’

‘I study communication. Aix calls me a linguist, though I have only learnt that humans have many different languages recently. My… what did you refer to Chausiku as?’

‘Supervisor—at least, here at the zoo.’

‘My supervisor is Azathoth.’

‘So uh, first question: why is irony too complex?’ Jason said.

‘Humans are far more social than are we, and you have far more complex behaviours. You tell stories, for example. That is what makes humans themselves, Aix has told me. You tell stories. That is very important.’ Cthulhu was very pleased to be able to show off what he’d learned so far, and also to test it a little, against other scholars, and see what they thought.

‘I guess you could say that’s a pretty universal thing in every culture,’ Mya said thoughtfully. ‘What does Aix do?’

‘He is a witch.’

‘No I mean, like, what is his profession?’ she asked politely. Cthulhu tilted his head.

‘He is a witch?’ he said, lilting it up as she had, not understanding.

‘That is a profession among the Nachtvolk, Mya,’ Kildaire said gently. ‘Not just a set of spiritual beliefs.’

‘He’s an Auntie sort of person,’ Cameron said. It was hard to describe what witches did to modern people, if they weren’t familiar with extended family. But by comparing him to the somewhat-ubiquitous concept of an Auntie, Cameron saw Mya understand immediately, as well as Chausiku and Jason. Michelle was still not really grasping it, but she was doing the white people thing of just politely nodding along.

Cthlh’: There are more sapients.

Az’th’t: You have mentioned, yes.

Cthlh’: Yet more than the ones I have mentioned. Elephants, and the other species of the group humans are a part of. Also many of what are known as birds.

Nyrl’ot: Other… other species?? That are still extant?

Cthlh’: Yes. I have been to a learning place where humans keep many animals in artificial environments, so they can learn about them, and teach other humans about them. The humans cannot fully prove some of these animals are sapient, but many who care for them suspect it. When I told them, they asked me to help them by translating. I cannot do this myself, I would like to ask for help—one of you. Perhaps Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth, since she wants to return here to study.

Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth: But I want to return to study that inflation fetish you mentioned.

Cthlh’: That can be done at the same time, particularly with my human. Also, studying the other animals of earth will happen if you study human sexual fetishes with my human, regardless. Humans take much inspiration from other animals in this way, they are very creative. Have you examined my notes so far?

Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth: Yes. I appreciate your meticulousness and organisation, now. There’s so much!

Az’th’t: Then you will be the one to go, unless anyone else objects?

Nyrl’ot: No, Hst’rr and I have found some little machines in the solar system, we’re studying those.

Hst’rr: I still want to know if your human has any siblings available.

Cthlh’: He would be pleased to know you desire him. You can just say that, Hst’rr.

Hst’rr: Humans get very aggressive if they’re pair-bonded and you express desire.

Cthlh’: Only monogamous humans. My human is not monogamous. Nor am I. I will tell him. Sh’b please wait to come until I tell you; there is much happening right now, and I need time to prepare.

Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth: What is happening?

Cthlh’: Your assistance to my human and your grandchild, while very necessary, caused a great change that sent ripples and culminated in a large meeting. My human and I also have yet to find a permanent home. It is customary for humans to only invite guests when they have a home nest to invite the guest into. We do not have one yet.

Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth: Ah, I see. I like that little grandchild, she is so strange! She did not get raised by humans or her siblings, you know. She got raised by those things that Ny likes.

Nyrl’ot: Mau? Those are interesting little animals, I would not mind coming back to study them. Are they sapient?

Cthlh’: Somewhat. But one at a time, and you must ask me first, as Master of Knowledge of this world. Not yet.

Az’th’t: Fear not, Cthlh’. You are doing very well, and your caution is an asset.

Cthlh’: Humans call it ‘kindness’, not caution. They think often of the comfort of others, they hold this as an important behaviour to have. It would be distressing at this time, as we are occupied with a complex task. After that task is over, there must be resting time, but there will not be, because there are other tasks that require doing immediately after. I do not know when it will end, it may be most of a revolution of this planet around the star. I will ask Morpheus if he might find a way to connect us in the Dreamspace.

Nyrl’ot: You will ask whom to do what in the where?

Sh’b-Zhig’r’rth: Morpheus to connect us in the Dreamspace. You really should get started reading his notes, Ny. That made perfect sense to me.

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