Chapter 3

The Audacity

he Audacity was a beautiful brigantine, freshly-painted in peacock teal, with her sails in the triangle shapes of Bermuda rigging, flying the eight-colour gay flag. The crew were largely Northern, or from Ireland, Scotland and Wales, and working class (though there was one breathlessly excited, toffy, history grad student who had abandoned working at the museum to sail away).

Harrison was interested in joining Roseblade’s crew, which was quite lucky since the crew was a little shorthanded when it came to people comfortable very high up in small places that swayed, in the dark; but a stage hand who specialised in lights was just exactly used to that.

They didn’t sail right away—the crew had been on leave for New Year’s too, and supplies were still needed. Roseblade introduced Harrison to his first mate, a bearded Yorkshireman with a stern face and a functional broadness of shoulder, in very practical wool sweater and the sort of boots that you could pass down two or three generations.

‘Mr Leaper,’ Roseblade said, with all the élan of a socialite at a dinner party, ‘this is Avzaradel. She has experience up in rigging and on catwalks, and good eyes.’

‘Call me Harrison,’ Harrison said, shaking his work-gnarled hand, ‘everyone does. I’ve been a stage-hand for fifteen years.’

‘How’s your night-vision?’ Leaper asked, with no particular inflection.

‘Excellent.’

Leaper nodded. ‘Dogwatch lookout, then. Don’t have more than the boffin, and he’s too fuckin’ excited by everythin’ to be useful yet.’

‘Mr Leaper is First Mate,’ Roseblade told Harrison. ‘We run a historical crew, so you answer to him above all other officers. He’ll sort out what you need and what to expect. Mr Leaper, we have passengers, as well as a heading. Which do you want first?’

‘Heading.’

‘Boston.’

‘Easy enough if we don’t get snowed. Passengers?’

‘A Mr Williams, Mr Aix, a clown, and a cat.’

‘How big’s the clown?’

‘Same as the cat. She’s been to sea before, as has Mr Williams, and I believe Mr Aix has been on a bay at least. They’re with Mr Price and Ms Blackburn, getting supplies.’

‘Are we gonna make port in Boston long?’

‘No, weather permitting. I want to head down the coast to Baltimore, and bedevil my nemesis in Chesapeake Bay.’

Harrison stifled a laugh. ‘Sorry, sir,’ she said, ‘I’ve never met someone with a nemesis, who bedevils people, before you.’

‘La, I certainly hope you haven’t!’ Roseblade laughed. ‘Weather should be fine tomorrow evening, Mr Leaper; can we be ready to sail by then?’

‘Weather permitting,’ Leaper said, echoing the captain’s words. After Roseblade was out of earshot, off to bed for the day, Leaper turned to head back onto the ship. ‘Come on, newblood,’ he said. ‘There’s some rules you should know. First being, you’ll only see the Captain at night, and you don’t bother him during the day.’

‘Aye, sir,’ Harrison said amiably. ‘I’m used to working at in the dark, anyway.’

 ‘Good.’

‘No!’

‘Pippin,’ Aix said. ‘You gotta wear a life vest, it’s for safety.’

‘No!’ Pippin said, throwing the orange vest on the ground as hard as she could.

This was the most upset Aix had ever seen her, so he said, softly, ‘Hey,’ and patted his lap.

Pippin climbed up on his lap and he held her for a little bit, her tail twitchy and agitated, but calming as she pressed her face in the softness of the sweater he was wearing under his cloak.

Can you show me what’s wrong?

Pippin clung harder, and showed him—she didn’t like orange, she didn’t like it, it hurt her eyes. She didn’t like the fabric, it was Scrunkly. She didn’t like the way the jacket wrapped around her like a snake.

Aix understood immediately.

‘Is everything okay back here?’ called a voice—one of the crew that Roseblade had sent with Aix to this chandlery, Blackburn. She was Scottish, and had been surprised Aix didn’t need her to repeat everything slowly and clearly, (‘because most Americans can’t understand me’).

‘Um, we have a bit of a snag,’ Aix said, as Blackburn came down the aisle. ‘Gogo’s fine—see, he’s already gotten up—but Pippin needs something different, and not a fluorescent colour. It scares her.’

‘Aw, poor wee soul,’ Blackburn said gently, holding out a hand to skritch Pippin’s ruff, Pippin fluffing it out and purring. ‘I’ve not met such a wee joey before, are they usually afraid of certain colours?’

‘It’s more that, in nature, it’s the colour of poison or danger.’

Pippin shared that before, she’d been in a cage, and she didn’t want to be in a cage either. Aix rushed to reassure her that she would never go in a cage.

Gogo came up to them, still a little awkward; but he was already used to wearing a Shirt (as Aix called his harness), so the Floaty Shirt didn’t seem so terrible. Why did Sistercat hate it?

Pippin, wisely, did not let him know. She did show Aix why she wasn’t telling Gogo, though, and Aix patted her back. I understand. The Snake Instinct. Because Pippin had been raised by cats, and had a cat’s pareidolia as well as a clown’s. The shape of the baby lifejacket did vaguely resemble a snake….

‘Lemme see if we’re near some kind of REI or something…’ Aix said, pulling out the maps on his phone. Pippin didn’t wiggle, but she patted his wrist.

‘Ina see, psps,’ she said, and he tilted the phone screen.

‘See we’re looking on a map for a store that sells more types of floaties.’

‘Holls,’ Price said, coming down the aisle. ‘We ready to go?’

‘Aye, they don’t have a jacket Pip’s size that doesn’t hurt her wee tail.’

‘These are a marvel,’ Williams said, and chuckled as Gogo came up to him. ‘Even for a cat. Ah, such love your master has for you, Mister Gogo. Do you understand, I wonder?’

‘He does,’ Aix said, still looking at his phone. ‘I explained it to him.’

Price chuckled, but Blackburn didn’t. Aix had learned she was well-versed in Lore and had been on the cusp of becoming whatever Hunters were becoming in this new era of not hunting, just like Victoria and Aix. Price, however, was one of those sorts that was sceptical of everything out of the ordinary, and laughed often at Aix’s signaturely autistic gravity. It was grating, but Aix was used to most people being grating.

They found a larger and more generic sporting goods store, though it was a bit of a trek. ‘Okay, there’s a bigger store but it’s like… fifteen minutes away. We’d need the car.’

‘Christ Jesus, why is this store so huge!’

It was Aix’s turn to laugh at Price as they walked (well, wheeled, for Aix) up to the enormous store from the parking lot, which had already been remarked on by the non-Americans and Williams as being equally ridiculous in scale.

‘It’s just a mall,’ Aix said, dropping into a thick San Fernando Valley drawl, raspy vocal fry and all. ‘Ohmigawd, Price, haven’t you like, ever been to a mall?’

Harrison snorted, before turning to Williams. ‘We can pick up regular clothes here for you, too. Aix, you should look at clothes, you said you needed some sturdy jeans.’

‘Yeah, oh hi!’ Aix said, spotting a white family with a party clown that waved at Pippin excitedly. They came over—well, the kid pelted over, the parents just followed, and of course the child was trying to get a look at Pippin, who stayed in Aix’s lap.

‘Wow you have a fooly he’s so little!’ said the kid, with a lisp from missing teeth. ‘What’s his name?’

‘Her name is Pippin,’ Aix said.

‘Hi Pippin! I’m Ocean! Mommy, Daddy, look there’s a fooly she’s a girl!’

‘We’re looking for a lifejacket for Pippin.’

‘Oh we’re getting one for Squiggle too! Do you have a boat? Daddy has a boat it’s called The Diamond I got to name it!’

‘My friend Captain Roseblade has a pirate ship,’ Aix said, to the child’s delight.

‘Don’t tease,’ said the mother, rather harshly; but this was New York, Aix was prepared for a lack of friendliness. Still, clown people were always friendlier than whatever average was for the region—that was assuming, of course, that the woman was the clown’s owner, though it quickly became apparent she did not like him, and that he was in fact the father’s joey.

‘It’s true, actually,’ Price said. ‘The Audacity, she’s a historical brigantine. We’ll be in Port Jefferson until tonight, if you want to see her.’

‘Can we go, Mommy? Daddy? Please! I wanna see a pirate ship!’

‘That’s where our yacht is, so we’ll see the ship today when we’re done here,’ said the father, before addressing Aix. ‘They’ve got a good selection for clowns in there.’

‘Oh, thank you for the recommendation!’ Aix was in full Social Entertainer mode now, he was aware; but couldn’t turn it off, it was reflexive.

‘No problem. All the clown stuff is in one section, in the first floor in the back corner.’

‘Maybe we could go together?’ Aix said, seeing that the mother was least friendly, but the dad and Ocean were very excited to stay and chat.

‘Sure; I’m Kevin, this is Trisha, and you’ve met Ocean, and this is Squiggle.’

‘This is Mr Price, Ms Blackburn, and Mr Williams. And I’m Aix, this is Pippin and that is Gogo. My assistance animals.’

‘Can I pet Gogo or are they working?’ Ocean asked politely, one of the few people that actually read Gogo’s harness, which said ‘ASK 2 PET’. ‘My friend Ellie has a dog but we’re not supposed to pet him he’s working.’

‘That’s a good thing to ask, everyone’s assistance animal is different. Please don’t pet Gogo right now, but it would be good if you talked to him, he’s still learning about being in human places like stores. Pippin knows when I need her and will let you know when it’s time to stop playing.’

‘Hi Gogo, hi Pippin, I’m Ocean!’

Talkative as Williams was in familiar circumstances, the world was even stranger than the luxurious house in which he’d first awakened, and he was frankly overwhelmed by how loud and bright everything was. The Captain and Aix had been understanding the most, Aix seeming a man much learned about medicine, explaining that in the great variance of humanity there were those who were like Aix and Williams, who had much more sensitive hearing and sight than most, even if it was not sharp.¹

Unfortunately, the world had not been built by people like Aix and Williams.

‘If you need to, though, you can leave any time, and I’ll take you back to the car for a bit,’ Harrison had said, and Aix had agreed.

Now, Aix stayed by him as they entered the glass doors, which opened by themselves. Price was charming the lady who was in such thin, conforming garments that he blushed and averted his gaze entirely), and Ocean (what a curious name for a child, very Fae-ish!) was chattering to Aix in the manner of small excited children, as Aix followed the father and the entire party stayed with Aix. Williams was glad Price at least took his orders from his captain seriously, even if his manners were something to be desired. Sailors were a rough lot, though even so it was unkind to laugh so much at the expense of others.

The store was full of all manner of things for sport and games and other recreations Williams had never heard of. People, Ms Avzaradel explained, were quite fond of going out into the woods and living rough now, it was a fun type of holiday—or vacation, as Americans said.

‘What is a vacation?’

‘Well it’s—Aix, can you explain this?’

‘Hm?’

‘What is a vacation?’ Williams repeated.

‘Ah yes, our Mr Williams has never been on a vacation,’ Aix said. ‘We have so many different cultures and religions that people decide when their own festivals are, and often travel somewhere just to experience another place, or go to see something specific that is there, like when I went to Boston last year and visited the aquarium with my Auntie. We also live so divorced from the wild that we have to specifically go to see it, sometimes very far.’ Aix gestured to the display of tents to the left. ‘Camping was invented in the nineteenth century, I believe by an Englishman.’

‘I never actually thought about this before… are you a history teacher?’ Kevin asked.

‘Aye,’ Blackburn said immediately. ‘Aix is our resident professor aboard ship.’

Aix was surprised, but good at playing Yes, And…, so didn’t say anything.

‘Not you?’ Trisha asked Williams, Aix picked up on her hostility and was glad Ocean and Squiggle had taken to running and getting lifejackets from the toddler rack and showing them to Pippin to get approval.

‘I am learned in matters of Christian theology and languages, madam, not in matters of history or science.’

‘Captain Roseblade came all the way here from London to see Professor Aix,’ Price said, surprising Aix with a show of loyalty.

‘How about this one, whatcha think, huh?’ Ocean asked, as she brought another lifejacket up to Aix and showed it to Pippin. This one was pink and purple. There were already two Pippin hadn’t liked the colour of, but this one made her get down and touch the fabric, her Mask comically thoughtful.

Squiggle beeped, wondering why Columbina was so picky. Was that a Columbina thing?

Aix got the impression Squiggle was very young, though of course Aix had been hanging about with rather old clowns, lately.

‘Does it pass muster, little mistress?’ Williams asked, pleased by the grave little zanni’s serious little face as she thoroughly examined the lifejacket, holding it in her little inky hands and squeezing at it, before putting it on, waving Ocean’s help aside.

‘Nununu! Nu peas,’ she said firmly.

‘Let her do for herself, Ocean,’ Aix said, as gently as he could. ‘She’s a big girl.’

‘Oh, sorry,’ Ocean said, then asked, ‘how old is she?’

How old is Babie Pippin? Aix asked Pippin, and got an answer that, of course, was not in numbers. Clowns did not count. They refused to count, which Aix had always liked about them, as numbers were not really his friends, either.

‘She’s five, that means she’s like a teenager,’ Aix said, and Kevin looked far more excited than Ocean; Squiggle was, clearly, his clown. Trisha said something about looking for swimsuits and left the group, which released a lot of tension.

It felt weird that Blackburn and Pierce were staying beside him, that Aix shouldn’t send them off—because their orders were to guard him; and that Harrison was happy to join in on that task, though she was more comfortable in the environment, and doing a sort of subtle patrol. Pierce was just standing behind Aix, and Blackburn was on the side opposite Kevin and Ocean. Harrison’s patrol was covered by her looking for lifejackets and other things in the aisle.

Gogo was on his lead, and he knew he shouldn’t pull, but he wanted to do something. He sat up and put up his paw to bap gently and slowly at Squiggle, tail twitching at the tip. Playplay.

‘Hey, does Squiggle know how to play with cats?’ Aix asked.

‘Yeah, I had cats growing up,’ Kevin said. ‘I’ve had Squigs since I was Ocean’s age.

‘I’d like to invite you to the little meetup for Long Island clownkeepers, maybe when you get back we could reconnect?’ He offered a business card.

Aix took it politely, pulling out his metal card case and tucking it inside, before pulling out his own card, which had his new landline number and Manhattan address, which was very exciting to see next to his name. It felt adult, and even though he was well into his thirties, Aix had not had a life with much that reminded him he was grown.

‘Is the meetup accessible?’ he asked, as Squiggle started playing with Gogo, Pippin swinging her arms and doing an uncannily-accurate version of a toddler-run to a clear spot, waving Ocean over and dancing to the song playing on the store’s speakers. Ocean giggled and happily joined her.

‘Yeah, it’s at the park with adaptive play equipment.’

Pippin found she liked the pink and purple lifejacket all right, but there was a foam one that was pleasingly squishy that she liked better than the crispy polyester with foam inside, so they got that one instead. Aix found one for himself, too, and it even had pink on it. After that they went over to the clothing section of the store, racks and racks of sturdy jeans, windbreakers, and puffy jackets.

As Aix had suspected, Williams liked the simple, practical clothing that was for camping and outside sports. Aix politely declined to look for clothes, knowing nothing would be comfortable and the fabrics would all be scrunkly and awful-feeling on his skin. Pippin and Ocean had fun running around and hiding in the racks of clothing, which made Aix nostalgic for when he’d done that, at Ocean’s age. It was nice of the store to have old-fashioned circular racks, so Ocean and Pippin could have fun. Gogo sat on Aix’s lap, and while Pierce was minding Williams, Harrison replaced him at Aix’s side. They were somewhat out of the way, and so in a perfect spot to eavesdrop.

It wasn’t on purpose, but Aix couldn’t tune out background sounds, and was just listening to the pleasant sound of clowns and children playing, and taking a break from talking, when his brain heard a Danger Noise: the forcibly hiss-quiet fury of a white woman being angry at a victim in public. It was a very distinctive sound, and one of the top-tier Danger Sounds on Aix’s PTSD trigger list. He strained to hear, out of fear more than nosiness (what if she was about to round on him?).

‘—can’t just go making friends with random people like that, Kevin! We have a daughter!’

Kevin’s voice was too low to hear, and Aix lost the next bits because of Squiggle laughing, but the next word he heard was very clear, a slur he’d never heard used on himself before; Harrison immediately went on alert, put a hand on Aix’s shoulder. Pippin noticed the ice-cold terror in Aix and immediately came over, which led Ocean and Squiggle Aix’s way.

Duckie!

Gogo curled up and purred louder, knowing that was what he was supposed to do when Friend was feeling scared.

But Aix didn’t want to interrupt the two parents, either; he wanted to hear everything, he wanted to know how deep the hatred went. He liked Kevin, got a good feeling from him, and his long experience with people and relationships had twigged that this marriage was by no means a harmonious one.

‘Blackburn, don’t,’ Harrison warned softly, because Blackburn was tensing up, her hands in fists. She said something in Scots, but it was so growly and quiet Aix couldn’t make it out.

‘What’s going on?’ Ocean asked, feeling the tension but not understanding it.

‘I’m frightened,’ Aix said, because Auntie never lied to kids and pointed out the logic in that—kids needed to learn when their observations of people were true. ‘Your mom said a very violent, hateful slur about me just now, and I heard it, and it hurt me.’

Ocean was very quiet. ‘Can men be afraid of women? Can it be backwards like that?’

‘Absolutely they can. Girls can do anything boys can do, and that includes being mean and hateful.’

Squiggle was wringing his hands fretfully, plumage rippling, fluffing and flattening in indecisive anxiety. Aix braced for impact, and then reached out to offer Squiggle a stronger and more open connection. What is it, Squiggle?

Squiggle showed him, and Aix was surprised at how not surprised he was.

He just wasn’t sure what to do about it.

‘Listen, Ocean. Your mommy should not make you feel scared of her. Adults should not do things that hurt you or make you scared, okay?’ Aix tried to hold back tears, tried to find a way to tell Ocean the things that he wished someone had told him, but also trying to balance between not overstepping.

‘Okay,’ Ocean said, unsure. ‘…Did your mommy throw you out? Miss Nicky says that sometimes parents do that to you if you’re queer.’

‘Miss Nicky is right, and also it is mean and bad to throw your children out for being themselves.’

‘Sometimes I’m worried Mommy will throw me out,’ Ocean said quietly, working her hands on the armrest of Aix’s chair; Aix didn’t mind. ‘She yells at me.’

‘It is wrong to shout at children.’ Aix said firmly.

‘It is very wrong to shout at children,’ Harrison agreed.

‘Hey.’

Kevin was in front of them, looking harried and apologetic.

‘Hey,’ Blackburn said, evenly. ‘Your wife’s a cunt.’ She folded her arms, highlighting the muscle under her tanned skin.

Nobody actually reacted to this—Harrison just lifted her brow slightly, and Aix wasn’t about to object to a Scotswoman making a true statement.

Kevin didn’t seem to have it in him to object. ‘I’m—sorry. Sometimes you think you know someone, and realise you just… don’t.’

Aix put on a bright grin, straightening up. ‘Happened to me. I got divorced about it, and I couldn’t be happier.’

Kevin was surprised into a laugh. ‘That is not normally the tone I expect from a divorcé.’

‘I thought divorce was bad?’ Ocean asked.

‘No, it’s not bad. It just means you get un-married, that’s all, pumpkin,’ Kevin said, and Aix’s respect for him went up a bit for it.

‘If you get divorced will Mommy move out?’

‘Mommy picked out the house, sweetie, I’d rather get another house and move. But you can come with me.’

‘Oh, Ocean had better come with you,’ Aix said, ‘and I suggest getting a Nightwatch to protect from Mommy. I know Mr Grishakin, if you need someone to contact for that.’

‘Protect her?’ Kevin said, alarmed. ‘How… from what?’

‘Mommy yells,’ Ocean said in a small voice, but looked back at Aix, and was emboldened by the support. ‘Mommy yells and it’s wrong to shout at children, isn’t it? I am not supposed to shout at people smaller than me, you said. Why does Mommy get to?’

‘She doesn’t,’ Kevin said in a hard voice. ‘I didn’t know she was doing that. Can I hug you?’

‘Yeah!’ Ocean said, going over to him. He picked her up, squeezing tight and making her giggle.

‘Is “cunt” a Four Letter Word, Daddy?’ Ocean whispered, pronouncing it exactly the way Blackburn had (Blackburn chuckled).

‘Yes, that is a four-letter word. Please don’t use it until you’re older and can understand what it means.’

‘Okay.’

‘Thank you,’ Kevin said to Aix. ‘I know this is the most random thing ever, but…’

‘I’m a witch,’ Aix said, by now so used to saying it that he didn’t remember not to. ‘Solving problems is sort of what our role is in a community.’

Kevin gave a faint smile, putting Ocean down. ‘I get the feeling you’re not a crystals and essential oils kind of witch.’

‘Absolutely not,’ Aix said, with emphasis. ‘I’m the crotchety kind, like Granny Weatherwax, or Aughra.’

‘I love that.’

‘Can I be a witch?’ Ocean asked. ‘I have a witch name, people say that.’

‘It’s a very cool name. But witch is a job and a specific religion,’ Aix said. ‘It takes a lot of study.’

‘I can do it! I like to read.’

‘She does,’ Kevin said proudly. ‘Reads stacks of books.’

‘Good,’ Aix said, looking at Ocean, ‘Learn about how nature works, and how people work, and remember to read lots of old stories; and most importantly: ask questions. Asking questions all the time is an important duty for a witch.’

‘Ye!’ Pippin said, nodding. ‘Frshalin peppoh!’

Aix giggled. ‘Pippin says “just like a harlequin”.’

Ocean nodded. ‘Ask questions,’ she said to herself.

Kevin glanced around, and then back to Aix. ‘Can I ask—are uh, are these two guarding you? Has it come to that already? With the trans stuff?’

‘It’s more about people grabbing my chair without permission,’ Aix said, which was both true and misleading. ‘But yes, that is also a concern, especially in this neighbourhood.’ He enjoyed playing turnabout with ‘good/bad neighbourhood’; in his experience, being in a place that was all white was far more scary and dangerous than being in a place with all kinds of people.

‘Oh no, was I not supposed to touch your chair? I’m sorry!’ Ocean said, worried.

‘No, sweetheart, you were just fine. I mean people grabbing my chair and moving me without my permission. You wouldn’t like if someone picked you up and moved you without asking.’

‘Ohhh,’ Ocean said. ‘My friend at clownclub is in a chair too but a metal one and he says you don’t touch it because it’s his body.’

‘That’s right. Someone’s cane or rollator or chair is a part of their body like their leg or arm, so you don’t touch it without consent. I gotta head out soon, but it was cool to meet you. Maybe we’ll see you at the marina before we leave.’

‘Can I hug you?’ Ocean said.

‘I would love that!’ Aix said, and Ocean leaned over to hug him where he sat, careful of Pippin and Gogo on his lap, who sort of joined in despite being caught in the middle.

‘Yay!’ Pippin said, muffled. Ocean and Aix both giggled.

Once good-byes were exchanged and they split off, Pierce and Williams came back, Williams carrying a pile of clothes, mostly in black—but Williams’ black was not the same black as Aix’s. They hadn’t had that conversation yet, but Aix actually looked forward to it.

‘Your turn,’ Harrison said to Aix. When he sighed, she rubbed his upper back in a friendly way. ‘I know it’s frustrating, but this is our last chance and your suits are nice but they’re gonna get ruined by the saltwater.’

Unnoticed by Aix, Pierce and Blackburn exchanged Looks. Harrison noticed, and raised a brow at them.

‘What?’

‘You might wait until nightfall,’ Pierce said.

Aix went very still. He’d assumed Roseblade was here by himself, but… ‘Is Gaz… here?’

‘Aye.’

‘And you’re recommending I ask him to help me shop for clothes?’

‘New York is a centre of fashion,’ Pierce said, a little haltingly. ‘He’s absolutely been shopping all leave, he’s been talking about it the whole trip here.’

‘He sews,’ Blackburn said. ‘Took up sewing. Moans about not having his sewing machine aboard ship.’

Aix and Harrison stifled laughter.

‘He’s actually champion at moaning, it’s sort of impressive,’ Pierce said. Aix’s laughter took on a tone, at that, a sort of mischievous cackle.

‘Oh no, what?’

‘Moaning means sex noises in American English,’ Harrison said, grinning.

‘He’s—he’s probably—’ Aix squeaked, gasping through tears of laughter.

‘Fair enough, he’s good at that too,’ Pierce said thoughtfully.

‘Is it polite to bandy another’s name?’ Williams asked, delicately as he could. Aix wobbled his hand, and was about to explain; but his phone started ringing.

‘Oh, hang on, I gotta take this,’ Aix said, putting on the headphones wound around a special part of his phone case and answering. ‘Phrixus, hi babe, what’s up?’

‘Are you still planning on going to that convention, Maestro Stregone?’

Aix got a pleased little blushy shiver whenever they called him that. ‘Yes, why?’

‘We wish to also come.’

‘Oh, okay, um… all the panels and stuff are during the day though.’

‘That is well. We can tolerate not sleeping more than others, but I know your loneliness is bone-deep and I wish you not to be alone.’

Ah, code-phrase. Bone as in sawbones, as in René, Aix realised. So, René was sending them, then? Was that right? There was no way to confirm, so Aix had to just trust his detective and spy skills. It was a little thrilling, really—he’d grown up on spy and detective stories. ‘It’s a party, then,’ he said. ‘Rosie’s here—oh but don’t tell, you know. It’s a secret.’

Phrixus’ pretty laugh was ruined by modern VOIP phone quality, but Aix knew what it sounded like in real life. ‘I see why our little pedrolinina likes you so much. See you soon, tesoro. Ciao.’

‘Ciao bello,’ Aix said, hanging up before he could get nervous about flirting on purpose.

‘Ooer,’ Pierce teased. ‘What’s that, boyfriend number six?’

‘Leader of boyfriends three through six, actually. Roseblade is lucky seven.’

Pierce lost it, obviously not knowing Aix well enough to know that he answered even teasing questions seriously.

‘That’s just the ones I have received suit of so far,’ Aix said, with a rather arch toss of his head. His hair still wasn’t quite long enough to put back, but he did have his ringlets back, and he could toss them. ‘I am a transmasculine of the highest court!’ he said in his archest voice, before succumbing to giggles.

After that, he pulled up the brakes to his chair and made sure Pippin and Gogo were secure before he started wheeling toward the registers. ‘C’mon, let’s get out of here, the residual transphobia of little miss priss is giving me hives.’

‘Oh, what fresh hell?’ Pierce said. ‘What happened?’

‘Called him a fuckin slur, the fuckin’ weapon,’ Blackburn growled.

‘Oh hey, we should go to Cheesecake Factory—you ever had a cheesecake, my man?’ Aix said to Williams, as Aix stood to pay for the lifejackets. ‘Sure as shit you ain’t never had an avocado—come on. Hey Pippin, you like cheesecake?’

‘Yay!’ I like cake! I like cheese!

‘Oh my god she’s so cute,’ the cashier said. ‘Hi, baby!’

Pippin beeped at her, mimicking her wave, her ruff fluffed out and sparkly with excitement at trying a new food. She looked at Aix in confusion when sharing this with him didn’t get the reaction she thought. ‘Uu?’ Why Duckie… not like eat???

There’s not a lot I can eat, anymore, Aix said, that’s why I wanna be a vampire. So I don’t have to worry about it.

Pippin hugged him; to everyone else, it just looked like she’d gotten clingy all of a sudden. Aix just kissed her little cheek while he paid, and Harrison helpfully took the bag of stuff for him while he got settled back in his chair.

‘Hey limpet, you gotta move to my lap, c’mon,’ Aix said, when Pippin kept clinging to him, her tail wrapped tightly around his chest and shoulder. ‘…Are you crying? Baby!’ and Aix meant it, this time, wasn’t just playing Yes, And… for Pippin’s grift on the world. He managed to get Pippin on his lap, though it was a tight fit with Gogo when Pippin wasn’t holding him. Aix had his hands full, and glanced up. ‘Hey, one of you push me?’ he asked the sailors. Pierce immediately took to it, getting him outside ahead of the others.

Pippin was crying, full blown tears and hiccuping crying about the whole matter of the collection of digestive malfunction Aix only called his Food Stuff. ‘Hey hey hey,’ Aix said softly, getting out his hankerchief. ‘Hey, babyponkin, it’s okay, sweetheart.’

‘No!’ Pippin sobbed, throwing her arms around his neck again. It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair, it was so mean! For the first time in her long, long life, Pippin seemed to have encountered something she truly could not understand, that scared her. She’d never thought about Magic Dotties before, or how they got that way. Were they all like Duckie, were they all sad?

‘Baby, I’m not—I’m not sad about it anymore.’

‘LYEEN!’

‘Okay, yes,’ Aix said, trying not to start crying. ‘It’s not fair, but there is a reason, okay?’

Pippin sniffled, using the puff on the end of her tail to dry her tears. ‘Wy?’

‘My body has this special drawing inside every little crumb, and it tells everybody how to build every part of me—my hair, my bones, everything—but the special drawing tells my body to use the wrong formula for the glue recipe. And I can’t fix it. And maybe Eight-Foot Joe could fix it, maybe he could. But I don’t know what it would do to me if he tried, that sort of thing… hasn’t gone so well, before.’

It goed okay for joeys.

‘I guess it did, but it’s still my own choice, you know? I get to decide.’

Pippin nodded, and hugged Aix’s neck again.

‘Food is my Columbina,’ Aix said, ‘you know, I’m a Pierrot too.’

Pippin pulled back, wrinkling her nose in disagreement. ‘Noh ‘possa be like’at.’

‘Well, but that’s what the Story helps me with,’ Aix challenged. ‘Pierrot teaches me it’s okay to be sad about things I can’t have that other people can, doesn’t he? For me, that’s not a person. And hey,’ he said, gently touching her nose with his nose. ‘I can still eat a lot of things, Chef Moon has been helping me. You helped me decorate my recipe book, remember?’

Aix had been petting Gogo to keep him calm the whole time, but when everyone else came out of the doors and over to them, he gave his little greeting honk-mew and jumped down, stretching his leash to do greet them, tail up and cheerful. He’d quite taken to Williams, he gave excellent skritches.

‘You good, Pip?’ Harrison asked, seeing Pippin wiping her face with her handkerchief.

‘Uu,’ Pippin noised, making her Mask classically pierrot.

‘It’s private,’ Aix said, and Harrison just nodded.

‘I’ll bring the car around, unless you’re good?’

‘If Mr Pierce would push me, yeah I’m good to just walk over. It’s a nice day.’

‘Quite unseasonally nice, yes,’ Williams commented, for it was a clear day, and there was no snow at all. It almost felt like April, not January.

‘Well,’ Pierce said, as he started to push Aix again. ‘Global warming.’

‘I think I have not learned of that as yet,’ Williams said, walking with them. Blackburn gestured grandly to the parking lot full of cars to their right.

‘Ta daaaa!’

‘Burning coal and oil—mostly because despite there being the technology for alternatives, the companies—’ Aix started.

‘And governments,’ Pierce put in.

‘Thank you, and governments making profit off of selling oil are buying politicians to make sure public transit like trains doesn’t happen—is massively polluting the air, because one percent of the the population controls 99% of the wealth and they’re all unconscionably evil human beings,’ Aix recited the data from memory. ‘And yes, that’s changing the actual weather all over the world, now.’

‘Is… do you all simply carry on living your lives with this knowledge?’

‘Oh there’s fighting,’ Pierce said. ‘The crew all did our share of it, trying to educate people, push them toward understanding that sailships go as fast as the ones polluting the air.’

‘But what of these men?’

‘What about them? They’re behind walls and walls of guards and inaccessibility.’

‘Oh, so the world is full of evil men who can afford bodyguards, so nu?’ Harrison said, rolling her eyes at Pierce, before addressing Williams, ‘It’s hard to know the fight is happening when it’s not in front of you, and because it’s not a straightforward victory, it’s a lot of little ones. We are absolutely not fixing everything all at once; but we fix everything we can—at least, my people do,’ she said, giving Pierce a Look.

‘You do what you can with what you have,’ Aix said, because it was something Victoria and his other Jewish friends told him often, when he felt overwhelmed about all the problems in the world. ‘Xander makes people laugh, and takes part in telling stories that give people hope, and like all artists, he nourishes people’s spirit. My friend Victoria helps people one at a time, people that only she can help. And I’m… sheesh, I’m… doing a lot more than I ever thought I would, believe me. I think in the end, we just have to sort of… help the next person. And then the next one. Oh, speaking of—’ Aix broke off, seeing the stray joey wandering toward them.

He was a Nightwatch, which meant he loomed, and moved like a tree full of crows about to take off.

‘Go get him, Pippin!’ Aix said, and Pippin launched, bounding on all fours with her tail up, the gait that clowns used for going fast, the gait that had gained them their reputation as monkey-birds. She leapt up on planters and railings, even scaled up a lampost and hung off it, her tail raised and glowing blue in the light. She beeped at the Nightwatch, who stopped wandering and started coming with more purpose. He looked like a stray, his plumage a little too ragged to be a pet.

‘Hey, buddy,’ Aix said softly, when Pippin brought him back to them. ‘Are you lost, or alone?’

He folded down, not answering for a while, his Mask slowly and uncertainly fading from the crypsis stripes on his face to something vaguely resembling Pippin.

‘Oh man,’ Aix realised his plumage wasn’t tattered—it was still coming in. ‘you’re a kid, aren’t you?’

‘Ye,’ Pippin said, and made her little hand sign for ‘telephone’. ‘Helo bee sy!’

‘Yeah, we should call Big Simon, for sure. Pippin, ask him if he’s got siblings,’ Aix said, getting out his phone and calling Saving Joeys.

‘Saving Joeys, this is Simon Grishakin.’

‘Simon, I’ve got a juvenile Nightwatch stray in front of me and I’m in Long Island, do you know somebody that can get him?’

‘I can be there in about four hours, can you stay in that spot?’

Aix looked at the enormous bookstore next to the restaurant. ‘…Four hours? Easily. But I got an appointment with the tide, do you think you can be here by seven?’

‘Absolutely. Is he sick?’

He gots sibeens!

‘No he looks okay, but looks like we have multiple joeys. Unsure of the condition of the rest.’

‘Gotcha. Text me the address and I’ll be there. If you can feed them, do.’

Aix said good-bye and hung up. ‘Okay,’ he said, as he found the address of the Barnes and Noble specifically and texted it to Simon, ‘Simon’s on his way, he’ll be here in four hours.’

‘I texted Sean, he’ll be here sooner,’ Harrison said. ‘Change of plans,’ she said. ‘We’re going to the drive-in.’

‘Yaaaaaay!’ Pippin said, throwing up her arms.

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