Next❧
Index
hey picked up a cheesecake before heading to the drive-in across the way, but Aix insisted he needed to lead the clown ‘manually’, so they all just trooped across the parking lot, Aix teaching the Brits and Williams how to safely navigate, things he’d been taught as a toddler in LA’s sprawling suburbs.
‘This is my native habitat,’ Aix said. ‘Malls, I mean. Parking lots. That sounds awful when I say it, but I honestly had a good time. I recognise they’re bad overall but that doesn’t change my good memories. You doin’ okay, fella?’ Aix asked the Nightwatch, who was carrying Pippin on his shoulders. Unlike most feral animals, clowns tended to immediately stick close to humans, since humans looked like joeys.
Pippin beeped affirmative; the Nightwatch was too little and had grown up without humanspeople around, so he couldn’t talk to Aix yet. He hadn’t even got a Face yet.
‘I was thinking, after lunch, we should head to the Barnes and Noble and just wait there for Simon?’ Aix said, sipping his blue raspberry soda carefully so as not to get a brain-freeze. ‘I wanted to pick up some books for the trip, and I’m sure Mr Williams would enjoy spending a few hours in a bookshop.’ Aix thought about the money in his account, and was pleased to be able to say, ‘My treat.’
Aix knew Barnes and Noble allowed clowns—bookshops and libraries had always been very friendly to clowns, just as they were friendly to cats—they did attract attention, though. Aix was starting to almost get used to it, though it was scary given that the cops were looking for him.
Should he even be staying in one place for this long? But Garnet had said he would remain hidden if he kept his face covered, and he’d been doing that faithfully, just like he had been since 2020. It was nice to have friends, or even just people devoted to keeping you safe. It was also, weirdly, nice to know that the paranoia was justified.
Pippin had assured him she could keep herself hidden—it was difficult to track a clown, absolutely no camera AI could track their face as a face, because of their Mask (and probably also because they were multi-dimensional beings, just like their Greatmother Shob-Zhiggurath). And Gogo was not chipped, and that was on purpose. He had a collar and a tag, but Aix had never liked microchipping, it felt dystopian and wrong.
These were all thoughts he had in the elevator to the second floor of the bookshop, petting his cat, who was very pleased to be inside again. He didn’t like the outside unless it involved the beach. When they got out, it was next to the children’s section.
‘Hi!’
Ocean came running up to them again, carrying a shopping basket already full of books. ‘Ohhh, you found a small troll already?’
‘Well, he’s just a little kid, we’re hanging out here until Mr Simon and Mr Sean come to help him. He’s a stray and he’s got some siblings somewhere. Your dad can totally talk to Mr Simon about adopting him though, if you want.’
‘Dad’s talking with his friend Mr Esquire—that is not his real name but I like it,’ she added in a stage whisper. ‘You wanna look at books with me?’
‘I’m going to get some books for my friends,’ Aix said. ‘You could come with, if you want.’
‘Are your bodyguards coming?’ Ocean said, eyeing them.
‘Aye,’ Blackburn said.
‘We’re bodyguards, ain’t we?’ Pierce said.
Pippin beeped, hopping down and offering her hand to Ocean. ‘Beena frshalin boo bees enna en.’
‘Yeah? Okay,’ Ocean said, taking her little hand. Pippin was wearing boots to protect her from the cold ground and the snow, but she wasn’t as bundled up as a human her size would be—mostly because Aix had made sure to get her wool, down, and silk, which were much warmer than plastics, and a little cloak like his, which was less bulky than a jacket. But, importantly, the boots also squeaked. Aix had bought a whole bag of shoe-squeakers to the shoemaker and asked that all Pippin’s shoes have them inside.
This gave Ocean the giggles, which was of course the whole reason Pippin liked squeaky shoes so much. They eventually got to an employee, someone Aix’s age, a slim person with thinning sandy hair and worn corduroy jacket; the sort of person that gave off the aura of one of the really good Humanities teachers, puckish gleam in his eyes and all. His nametag ssaid ‘Wallace (he/him)’
‘Hi there, do you need help finding anything?’
‘Y’all have Dungeons and Dragons books?’
‘We do! C’mon this way. You want some books about clownkeeping too?’
‘No, daddy has all of those!’ Ocean said. ‘I’ve read a lot of them.’ She paused, and looked down at Pippin. ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hold his hand too, okay?’
Pippin gave an approving little beep and nodded, leading her gently. Ocean approached slowly, holding out her free hand and talking very softly.
‘Hello,’ she said. ‘Do you wanna be friends?’
Aix was glad this Nightwatch hadn’t been traumatised enough to hesitate—he was cheerful, even, taking her hand with a little chuffing purr.
Aix followed the clerk, glad Gogo was sleepy and staying in his lap, and they trooped over to the gaming section, though they lost Williams along the way. Harrison stayed behind with him as he looked over the books on one of the many tables.
Williams was in a kind of heavenly paradise. The sheer scale of this bookshop’s two enormous floors, as well as the light from the enormous windows, and the warmth even given the cold outside was… otherworldly. There were all kinds of people in here, there were all kinds of books; there was even a section solely for children that was bigger than any bookshop he’d ever known humanity to have—and it was only children’s books! He’d never known such a thing really existed. Books were never sorted into categories, in his experience—there were not enough books to do so. But here…
‘You wanna go to the religion section?’ Harrison asked. ‘Or maybe languages?’
‘I scarcely know where to begin,’ Williams said faintly, running his fingertips along the stacks of thick novels with colourful covers. ‘I thought myself a learned man, well-read especially after my years in the other realm; but this… ay, me. The Prince of the Autumn Court was right, and I did not believe him—I could not, it seemed unimaginable…. When do children learn to read?’
‘Oh jeez, uh… I learned pretty early, like two? Probably between two and four is normal now. Everybody does—well, that’s the idea, anyway. It’s a bit rocky in practise, but everyone is basically literate at least. Do you like stories?’
Williams thought. ‘You know, I don’t believe anyone has ever asked me that,’ he said, and thought about it. ‘I think I do, but I would like to see what has become of poetry, as well.’
Harrison led Williams to the children’s section, where many books of many thicknesses and sizes were all over the shelves; the art on them ranged from the sort of real and vivid that Williams knew were called ‘photographs’, to things that seemed like simple children’s drawings. Harrison found a section full of large, thin books with very strange doodles on them, indeed.
‘This is Dr Seuss,’ she said, handing him one after another. ‘They’re poetry.’
Next, they went along to thicker books. ‘This is Shel Silverstein. Oh, and we should grab this T.S. Eliot. Let’s see… what else would you like?’
‘Can I help?’ said a nearby bookseller, a kindly-looking woman with bright purple hair and big colourful spectacles shaped like a cat’s eye with gems on the points, her mask many bright colours. The name on the card around their neck was ‘Mia (she/her)’.
‘Yeah, do you have a copy of any Grimm’s fairy tales?’
‘Oh, do you want an illustrated version or something more historical?’
‘Both?’ Harrison said, and the bookseller chuckled.
‘I get you. Are you getting gifts?’
‘No, these are for him.’
‘Gotcha, well, this one’s my favourite,’ the seller said, pulling out a large hardcover. ‘It’s a new edition, but uses the first-edition text, no bowdlerisation. Also—’ she added, gleefully, ‘it has the Arthur Rackham illustrations.’
‘I do not know who that is, but I have a friend over in the gaming section right now who probably does,’ Harrison said.
‘I’ve heard that name,’ Williams said, frowning thoughtfully and not saying the rest—the Prince of the Autumnfolk had mentioned him once or twice, in comparison to Kay Neilsen—another artist, one the prince was fonder of. ‘I… knew someone that preferred Kay Neilsen’s work.’
‘Ah, yeah, understandable!’ said the bookseller, scanning the shelves. ‘Neilsen is a lot harder to find, but I can see if we can order a version with his illos… oh, hey, we’ve got Hans Christen Andersen, illustrated by Neilsen!’ she said, plucking the book off the shelf and handing it to him. ‘Anything else? Have you read any of Neil Gaiman’s stuff yet?’
‘We’re starting at the beginning,’ Harrison said.
‘Understood—well, when you get to Norse stuff, I just finished his treatment of the myths and it’s great.’
‘I think this is quite enough to begin with,’ Williams said. ‘It would last me through a trans-Atlantic trip, in faith!’
This seemed to cheer Mia; she stifled a giggle of delight. ‘Oh, are you RenFaire people?’
‘No,’ Harrison said cheerfully. ‘Are there baskets or something to help carry all this?’
‘Oh, yeah! I’ll get you one.’
Williams glanced at Harrison, briefly meeting her eyes but quickly avoiding them directly. ‘Did I say something wrong?’
‘Not wrong, no. People don’t say “in faith” anymore unless they’re doing historical re-enactment stuff, and I didn’t feel like telling her about the ship; we’re supposed to not volunteer information, remember.’
Ah yes, the ‘cops’—slave-catchers turned into a mockery of beadles, rather like the redcoats that had patrolled during the Revolution, in Williams’ opinion, in being armed bullies meant to sow terror and compliance to unjust laws. They were on the lookout for Aix, and Pippin, for reasons that Williams did not yet fully understand.
After getting the basket, they went back over to the gaming section, passing Ocean talking with some children her age as they left the children’s section, and Harrison was glad she seemed so cheerful. When they caught up to Aix, they found that Ocean’s father had caught up, along with an Asian gentleman in a suit that screamed ‘lawyer’ (at least, to Harrison, whose father and mother were both lawyers). Pippin spotted the colourful books in the basket Williams was carrying immediately, and got up from where she was sitting with the young nightwatch, taking hold of the hammer-loop on Williams’ new jeans and pulling, beeping imperially at him.
Williams chuckled. ‘Shall we look at them together, then?’
‘Soos! Soos!’ Pippin said excitedly, as he set the basket down, her Mask and Flash going colourful and vivid, just like the colours in the books. Williams was happy to sit down on the floor and help them look through the colourful illustrations, though he knew better than to read to clowns—they didn’t understand that sort of thing. But he read softly to himself, getting used to the new way letters were shaped, the way words were spelled, while Pippin and the Nightwatch looked at the pictures, tails thumping the floor with engagement.
‘Harrison, Mr Williams, this is Mr Sun,’ Aix said, petting Gogo. ‘Mr Sun, this is our Mr Williams, and Harrison. Turns out Mr Sun knows Sean.’
‘How about that,’ Harrison said, seeing the books Pierce was holding. ‘Who are those for?’
‘Shh,’ Aix said, winking and putting a finger to his lips. He turned in his chair to see Williams with the clowns, Pippin explaining in her babble about the Dr Seuss book. Aix knew Williams was likely overwhelmed, but they couldn’t make the party any smaller, and Williams was in as much danger as Aix, possibly more considering the people that were after him. Their best bet was to stay in a large building full of Cold Iron for now, well away from trees.
‘What kind of lawyer are you?’ Harrison asked Mr Sun amiably.
‘I got into animal law a few years ago,’ Sun said. ‘That’s how I met Sean. We both started off in employment law.’
‘Ah, union defenders,’ Harrison said, grinning. ‘My parents are in real estate and entertainment law, respectively; that’s how Dad met Xander.’
‘Kevin and I were just talking about whether between us we knew any family lawyers.’
‘I do,’ Harrison said, getting out her phone. ‘My sister Ariel does that, she specialises in custody and stuff.’
‘Why didn’t you mention?’ Kevin joked.
‘Waiting for you to ask, one doesn’t assume,’ Harrison said, finding her sister’s business number and giving it to him.
‘Oh hey, Sean is here,’ Aix reported, and offered his phone up to Blackburn. ‘Could you—sorry, my hands are full—could you tell him where we are, Blackburn?’
She did, typing much faster than Aix could, since she used her thumbs instead of what he did, which was hold the phone in his right hand and type with his left finger.
‘Thanks.’
‘No problem.’
‘I’ve gotta get Ocean some lunch,’ Kevin said, ‘but it was nice running into you guys again, call me when Simon gets here, I want to adopt this joey once he’s been checked out and everything.’
‘Will do,’ Aix said, and was glad to see Sean wheel up in his sporty candy-apple red chair. ‘Hiya, Sean. This is little guy, and that dude who just passed is gonna adopt him. We’ve got a few more foolies somewhere, need some help to find them.’
‘Right on. Hey, Jimmy,’ he said to Sun brightly. ‘I didn’t know you were here too.’
‘Just ran into them while picking up some books. How was your new year?’
‘Pretty exciting, Aix and his friend from England did some swashbuckling!’
Aix giggled, Blackburn snorted, but gently tousled Aix’s hair.
‘Keeps his head in a storm, this one,’ she said. ‘So I hear from the Captain.’
‘So, we’re waiting for Mr Grishakin?’ Sean asked.
‘Yeah,’ Aix said, checking his phone again. ‘Speaking of lawyers, my disability guy is calling—I know I can’t go off anywhere, so uh, please understand this is in confidence?’
‘Yeah, c’mon Jimmy, I wanna get some coffee,’ Sean said, and let them alone.
‘Hey, Erastos, what’s up?’ Aix said, nervous smile in his voice.
‘You’re doing great, kiddo, don’t worry about it, we got this. The Golds have a shark friend that just came up from DC, he’s agreed to defend you and Pippin, but needs some help with animal law.’
The relief was so acute it almost made Aix sick. ‘Oh my god—hang on, hang on. I just met up with Sean Teague.’ Aix lowered the phone. ‘Harrison!’ but she was already making a beeline for Sean.
‘Sean!’ she called, quietly. ‘Hey, c’mere, Aix just got a call wants to talk to you.’
‘Okay…’
‘Hey, sorry, it’s a whole thing,’ Aix babbled nervously, offering the phone. ‘This is Mr Wednesday, he needs some help with animal law, wanted to know if he could hire you.’
‘Hello?’ Sean said, but his worried brow soon relaxed a bit, though it was still serious. He looked over at Pippin. ‘What? Yeah, I’m happy to help.’ He got out his phone. ‘What’s your number? Okay, got it.’ He sent off a text. ‘Just contact me through that email and I’ll get to you on Monday, and if I can’t then I know someone who can. No problem.’ He handed the phone back, his eyes worried.
‘I feel a lot better knowing we have someone to consult,’ Erastos said, ‘And by the way, your boyfriend—you know, the quiet one—he says hi and that he’s apparently in high demand as a babysitter. And he misses you.’
Aix’s heart hurt at that—but he consoled himself with the reminder that he could still see Cthulhu in the Dreamscape, and that he was having a lot of fun.
‘Everything okay?’ Sun asked, concerned.
‘I’m… not sure I’m allowed to say?’ Aix said, worrying his lip.
‘Ah, understood.’
‘I’ll let you know,’ Sean said to him. ‘Might need you.’
‘I’ve only got studying to do, so yeah, if it’s a job I’m there.’
‘Pro bono job,’ Sean said.
‘Still,’ Sun said.
‘I love lawyers,’ Aix said, mostly to himself.
Thlok
‘Yes, ma’am, I’m aware we’ve been in the car a while.’
Thlok.
‘I promise you are going to like what is at the end of this long drive,’ Simon said, flicking on his turn signal and taking the exit that led to the knotted tangle that was getting off the highway and to the ferry. He could have driven to Long Island, but it was actually less hassle to drive to Bridgeport and take the ferry, Simon had checked before leaving. He also didn’t like the idea of loading up the van with feral joeys and driving through a no-joey zone with them.
It was when they got on the boat that Boldie Glitz got interested rather than simply being cranky that she’d been in a car for six hours. Simon had reserved as soon as he’d left, and was running on schedule (he was very good at avoiding traffic and memorising routes—his adventurer grandfather had trained him on that rigorously), so thankfully everything about getting to Long Island went smoothly.
Boldie, like any drag queen, attracted a lot of attention from the moment Simon slid open the van door and she climbed out, fluffing up and shaking her green plumage to resettle it, glitter in a small haze around her as it was shaken off. Hers was just gold, which contrasted with her verdant plumage.
‘Shoes on or off, Boldie?’ Simon asked, and Boldie sniffed the air, then took her patent slippers off, putting them in her purse. Simon locked the car and took her hand, walking with her. They settled in the lobby, and the trip was, as Simon had hoped, a good way for them both to unwind after a long drive. The cold passengers were happy to see a clown in their midst, and Boldie preened with the attention. By the time they got back in the car, she was only a little grumpy about it, and pleased that the ride was so short.
As soon as she got out of the car, Boldie went on high alert, fluffing up and broody, clucking softly. She looked at him, and after raising her from egg, Simon knew she was expressing her opinion that he might have told her there were foolies without a mother.
‘Show me,’ Simon said, and shut the van, locking it and catching up to her, taking her wrist gently in his hand for safety; she understood cars, but she was also used to cars stopping at her command and letting her cross, and Simon had never liked that boldness. She led him across the parking lot and toward a small stand of trees. Stopping at the edge, she fluffed up and brightened her flash to a golden glow, clucking softly in the particular way clowns called foolies. There was nothing for a while, and then a loud death-rattle that said these foolies definitely had a mother, and she was a Nightwatch, and she was not happy, and she was… coming out of her crypsis-Mask, and Looming.
‘Holy holy…’ Simon muttered, because she was the tallest, biggest Nightwatch he’d ever seen. He heard Boldie trill, however, and honk flirtatiously, moving a little way from Simon and fluffing, shaking her skirt and showing off how many colours of Flash she had. This was curious—Simon had always assumed Boldie was dysfunctionally picky (a known problem with drag queens), she’d even snubbed Pepper.
Apparently, she just liked tall, dark, and handsome.
Simon went a little ways off, to give them space but still keep an eye on them, and called Aix. ‘Hey, I’m here,’ he said quietly, watching Boldie do her level best to flirt with the feral Nightwatch, who seemed rather startled by the whole thing—which was not a bad reaction in Boldie’s point of view. When the Nightwatch folded down into the breed’s signature resting crouch, long arms wrapped around long folded legs, Boldie started the trilling that would turn into a drag queen’s courting scream, and Simon got a little further back, bracing himself.
‘Boldie found them,’ Simon said, and held the phone out, the noise loud enough to get through. He hung up and texted where they were, keeping an eye on the parking lot and the copse for people or runaway foolies.
The noise that came through the phone made Aix pull it well away from his ear, the phone speaker picking up on the call—which they could definitely hear echoing across the parking lot. Pippin ran to the window, pressing her nose against the glass; the sound of another honk downstairs said she wasn’t the only clown in the building that recognised that sound. The fooly Nightwatch just looked confused.
‘So, he brought Boldie,’ Sean said, wheeling out of the café and toward the door.
‘Yep,’ Aix said, following. There was already a small crowd gathering.
‘Okay, people, coming through!’ Sean said—and he, unlike Aix, did not hesitate to run people down. People quickly got out of their way, and one man even opened the door for them, his partner opening the outer door. People were coming out of the restaurant next door, too, and many had their phones out. Aix was glad to have Sean to follow the example of, and just followed him. The idea of being filmed was nerve-wracking to Aix; and there was a bit of kerfuffle as the young Nightwatch, not having manners but picking up on Aix’s distress, simply plucked people’s phones out of their hands and tossed them away to shatter against the concrete of the ground. This led to a lot of shouting and distress, but the problem was it did achieve people quickly hiding their phones, and therefore stopping filming. It also resulted in a few people laughing, which cemented to the fooly that he should definitely keep doing it.
The chaos that ensued as he chased after as many phones as he could reach eventually scattered the crowd for good, and by the time Pippin herded her new babyfren back to their humans, Boldie had finished her display and was being introduced to all the foolies, who were all extremely gangly, even for Nightwatchers. The one with Pippin (who seemed to be the biggest of the clutch) got pulled close and checked over immediately, with many worried huffs from his mother. Boldie clucked softly, delighted with all these new babies to fuss over.
Gogo was very excited by all this, but also ran into the woods because of other reasons. Aix wheeled over to the edge of the copse to let him go behind a bush and dig around in the snow, by now a bit less nervy about how cold his paws might be in the winter ground. Aix watched everyone else—Sean and Simon were talking intently while watching the joeys socialise, likely as excited as Aix to see courtship socialising, since it was pretty rare to see spontaneously.
‘She’s never been interested in anybody before,’ Simon was saying. ‘It’ll be good for them to co-parent, she’ll be able to socialise them.’
Pippin’s new friend pulled his family and siblings over to Pippin, and Boldie beeped softly at her, Pippin running and jumping into her arms.
‘How do we get them inside?’ Simon said. ‘It’s freezing out here, and I know Småtrolde are suited to the cold, but still….’
‘Don’t worry,’ Sean said, grinning, ‘I know a guy.’
‘We need to get away from the trees,’ Williams said, with a kind of suddenness that coincided with Pippin giving an alarm call. Aix immediately abandoned his chair, spooked enough to contemplate running; but Williams caught him. ‘Don’t,’ he said, softly, urgently. ‘Don’t run. They chase if you run.’
‘What does?’ Pierce asked, but in a quiet voice, eyeing the trees.
There was the sound of a child crying from further into the copse, but to Aix it sounded wrong; he was one of the types of people that could recognise the various kinds of baby cry, and this was none of them. This wasn’t pinging the Eldest Sibling part of his brain, and that alone made it eerie.
Simon opened the door to his van, and helped Sean inside.
‘It doesn’t want me,’ Harrison said. ‘If I can get to my car…’
Sean jangled his keys. ‘My Winnebago’s closer, and has a lift.’ He tossed them to Harrison, ‘It’ll fit the clowns, we can use Simon’s for the people. Everyone move slowly.’
‘Okay,’ Harrison said, and handed her keys off to Pierce. ‘You know how to drive, go get my car, it has our stuff in it.’
‘My chair doesn’t fold,’ Aix said, ‘but I can walk, and we can put it in the van. Or abandon it.’
‘No,’ Sean said firmly. ‘We’re not abandoning your chair. Who has iron?’
‘I gave my troll-cross to Xander,’ Aix said, as Gogo came back up to his lap; he wasn’t scared, but he was very alert, and hissed at the trees, even as Pippin and Boldie coaxed the ferals away from the trees.
Friend? The mother was watching the trees, and Pippin hissed, showing her little fangs.
Not friend! Not friend bees baddanger!
Aix was slowly making his way toward Simon’s van, dragging his chair. Williams had climbed inside, as had Simon, already starting the engine. Harrison came up right next to them in a black van, and Blackburn went to open the door to it, lifting Aix’s chair inside. Boldie herded the joeys inside the larger vehicle, and their mother followed. Blackburn got in Simon’s van, and Boldie shut the door to Sean’s van, knowing how sliding doors worked by now. Aix held Gogo firmly and slammed the sliding door of Simon’s van shut.
‘Gogogogogo!’ he said, trying to keep his voice low and calm, as the thing finally emerged from the treeline, all at once, a thing that had never been a child, covered in blood, with big black eyes and too-long fingers, mouth unable to close because of all the teeth.
‘God almighty, what was that thing,’ Simon muttered, as they drove away, following Harrison in Sean’s much larger (and newer) black van, with Pierce trailing behind them carefully (he didn’t technically have a licence to drive in America).
‘Redcap,’ Aix and Williams said at the same time.
‘They are scavengers, left to their own devices; but it is oft they are employed as assassins by both courts,’ Williams went on.
‘Explains why the joeys weren’t put off,’ Simon said.
‘Pippin said Mama was calling it a friend,’ Aix said. ‘I wonder if it was feeding them. I mean, five foolies surviving in that kind of circumstance? With only one adult? In winter?’
‘Are they particularly fragile?’ Williams asked.
‘Do you want the short answer, or the long one?’ Simon asked, chuckling. ‘I’m a former clown breeder, and Nightwatchers were my breed.’
Aix got a text from Harrison.
We’re heading to my sister’s place, she’s got a big daylight basement. Follow me.
Aix relayed this to everyone, and reached for Pippin. You okay?
I no scare. I no scare of no theens!
That’s a relief. What about new friends?
We bees tell them about carri.
‘The joeys are fine, Boldie and Pippin are helping acclimate them,’ Aix said, feeling the relief start to seep into him. ‘And I’m gonna have a meltdown as soon as we’re safe, probably.’
‘Happens to the best of us,’ Sean said, ‘you’re doing great.’
Blackburn’s alarm started going off, and she quickly turned it off. ‘Captain’s awake,’ she said shortly, starting to text and explain the situation to him.
‘I can take you to the dock and drop you there,’ Simon said. ‘If you need. I can handle the clowns.’
‘I can’t leave without Pippin,’ Aix said, ‘but thanks.’
By the time they got to Harrison’s sister’s, it was almost six, and there was just enough time for everyone to swap cars, say good bye, and get the clowns settled. There was back and forth about leaving a day later, but Aix and Williams pointed out the longer they stayed in one place, the more danger they were in. They piled into Harrison’s car and got to the marina just in time.
Next❧